


Soulmates

by muffin (PewDiePie)



Series: Old fanfics from 2015/2016 - Frerard, Petekey, Ryden, Phan [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, The 1975 (Band)
Genre: 2015 - Freeform, Abuse, Abusive Parents, Adoptive Parents - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Gerard Way, Bullying, Cliche, Crying, Cutting, I wrote this back then, I'm Sorry, Its a bit better than my angel but its still not v good, Its v old, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, POV First Person, POV Frank Iero, Running Away, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Song lyrics in dialogue, Soulmates, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Frank Iero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 22:27:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12198639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PewDiePie/pseuds/muffin
Summary: Simply meant to be.Frank Iero is an orphan and he hates his life. He hates himself, too. It seems everyone hates him. Frank believes no one will ever love him and he will never love anyone. He believes love does not exist.Soulmates do not exist.Between his adoptive parents and the kids at school, Frank is depressed all the time. He only has two friends, Matty and Charlie, and maybe a third, Mikey Way. But then he meets Mikey's brother, and after awhile, Frank begins to question whether or not love does actually exist.And whether or not he met his soulmate.Soulmates never die.(old fanfic from 2015)





	1. Hell

**Author's Note:**

> This is an old fanfic, like my angel. It's not very good, nor very long. Please bear with me. ;-;

Love is something I question a lot. It doesn't exist. But people believe that it does. But you see, they are wrong. Love doesn't exist. At least, not for me.

Everyone hates me, and I don't know why. I can't say I blame them though. I hate myself, too.

They hate everything about me, and I hate everything about myself. They tell me I'm stupid, worthless, I'm not worth it, I'm a faggot, I'm emo, I don't deserve to live. And maybe they're true.

I bet they're true. They are true. Everyone is right about me.

Because even my parents hate me. Well, hated. They gave me to an orphanage, and then I was adopted by people who beat on me. They don't love me. They don't care. No one does.

I just want to run away. Or die. Either would be preferable to the life I'm living now.

I only have two friends - Matty and Charlie. And I don't know why they sticks with me. They seems to actually care about me, but that's impossible, because I'm not worth caring about, I'm not worth loving, not that I've ever been loved before anyway. By anyone.

And walking in the bone chilling rain is also preferable then going to school. But guess where I'm headed?

I made my way through the doors, only to be immediately ganged up on by Adam and his friends. They shoved me against the lockers.

"Hey orphan," Adam smirked, jacking me up against the lockers by my shirt. I gulped, looking around frantically for any kind of help, but no one else was around.

Adam punched me in the face, hard. He dropped me and I fell to my knees before him, holding the spot on my face that was bruising already and my busted lip. Adam then kicked me hard in the stomach, making me have to use me hand for support. He kicked me again, causing me to fall onto my side, only for him to kick again.

I threw up, but that didn't stop him. No, he only kicked harder, calling me a disgusting fag that doesn't even deserve to be alive. I just closed my eyes and hoped that he'd stop soon.

He did stop though, but only because a guy, about a year older than me, tapped Adam's shoulder, causing Adam to spin around, enraged. The guy kicked Adam in the crotch, sending Adam to his knees. The guy helped me up while Adam was busy crying. Then the guy took me into the bathroom to help me get cleaned up.

"Why did you save me?" I asked, eyeing the purplish bruise already on my face and the busted lip I had. Didn't I have enough bruises and cuts?

"Because that prick was beating you up," the guy explained, calmly, buypt clearly annoyed. He looked at the bruise on my face, whistling. "Does it hurt as bad as it looks?" 

I nodded, sighing and sitting on the countertop. I looked at the guy, who was looking at my bruise still. He shook his head, sighing. But then there was nothing but extreme silence.

"You could at least say thank you, you know," the guy hinted, smiling sympathetically, and joining me on the countertop. I chuckled a little, before turning to face him.

"Thank you," I said, looking away and down at my pants, which had a little blood on them, courtesy of my busted lip. I hopped of of the countertop, and the guy did too. "Class is about to start," I stated, but I'm sure he already knew.

He nodded. "Yeah," he said, walking over to the door. "Hey, what's your name?" He opened up the door.

I shoved my hands into my hoodie's pockets. "Frank," I answered simply, following the guy as he walked out of the bathroom. "Frank Iero. And yours?"

"Mikey. Mikey Way."

"Nice to meet you, Mikey," I said, smiling, and walking to my first class of the day.

-

I took my time walking home. Matty and Charlie were with me, but that wouldn't stop those people from hurting me. Not at all. I told them about Mikey, and they nodded, but Matty smiled a little.

"Yeah, that guy's in my class," Charlie stated, making Matty's head shoot in Charlie's direction. "What?"

"He is in your class?" Matty questioned, eyes wide. Charlie raised an eyebrow, nodding slowly. "Which one?" Matty then asked, stopping in place. I sighed as we both looked back at him.

"Why do you care?" Charlie's asked, looking puzzled. He continued on walking, but I didn't. The longer it took to get home, the better.

"Because he's cute and I wanted to know, okay?" Did I mention Matty was gay too? No? Oh. Well he is. We both are.

But I don't like Matty like that. He's kinda like the annoying little brother I never had. And I'm also pretty positive that he doesn't like me like that either. I mean, come on, who would?

Charlie rolled his eyes, and we all continued on to my house. I dreaded every step that took us closer to my own personal hell, like, I mean since school is like, every teenager's - most teenager's hell. So the place I was supposed to call home, I called 'hell'. And school, that was 'public hell'.

It really does fit with my life. My life is hell.

-

Matty just gushed over the guys he finds cute at 'public hell'.

We were up in my room, right after we got to 'my hell' and I got slapped by the bitch that is my adoptive mom in front of my friends. I refer to her as 'the bitch', and my adoptive dad is 'the asshole'.

"Matty, enough with the guys, please," Charlie begged, sighing and turning on his phone and texting someone.

You see, Charlie is straight, but he's not a homophobe. This is another reason I like him.

"Yes, let's talk about something else," I agreed, sighing and trailing my fingers over the stinging, pink flesh on my cheek, where 'the bitch' slapped me.

"But Frank, guess what?" Matty added to whatever he was saying, totally ignoring Charlie and I. I sighed and looked at him. "Mikey Way is totally cute, and one day, I saw his brother, I think, picking him up from school, and boy, I'm telling you right now, that boy is fine as hell."

I sighed and rolled my eyes up again. I don't wanna hear about and imagine some guy I barely met's fine brother. I just don't. That's creepy as fuck.

"There's also this guy named George..." And that's about when I zoned out and stopped listening to Matty's nonsense completely.

'The bitch' came in a little later to make my friends leave, and once they went out the door, there came the fists.

I'm definitely not looking forward on going to 'public hell' tomorrow, but at least it gets me away from these people at 'my hell'.

-


	2. Are you okay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW

After my 'parents' were done hurting me, leaving me a crying mess on the floor, they went out to dinner. I don't care what they do as long as they leave me alone.

I still can't figure out why everyone hates me. Well, almost everyone. Minus 2 - 3 people. 3 if Mikey likes me. 2 if he doesn't, like everyone else.

I ran up to my room and slammed the door. I stood in front of the mirror, studying all of my fresh bruises that were showing up now. I studied the forming welts and cuts I had, too. I looked like I got hit by a train.

I hate the way I look. I hate myself. I need to tell someone... But I can't tell anyone what goes on in my life. No... That'll only make everything so much worse. 

I need to hide the pain.

I'm trying to ignore the thoughts telling me to hide my pain.

I stripped out of all of my clothes, tossing them into the hamper and pulling out some fresh ones. I pulled them on and sat on my bed.

It's not working. I have to. I have to find some form of release other than crying. I can't cry right now. I already have. It didn't work. It didn't help at all.

I pulled out the razorblade I kept in my nightstand drawer, leaving the drawer open so I can put it back when I'm done. But, maybe I should go somewhere else. They'll beat me some more if they found out how weak I am. If they see the blood...

I closed the drawer, slipping the blade into my pocket. I made my way downstairs and out the front door.

Then it hit me.

Where the hell am I going to go? The fucking woods?

I sighed out a shaky breath, walking down the path that leads to the street. I turned onto the sidewalk, walking down it, and thinking of somewhere to go. Where the hell can I go where no one will see me and probably beat me up and call me 'emo'?

I walked to the woods where no one ever dared to go, due to all the legends and scary stories that were told about it. But honestly, I don't give a fuck about what lurks in the woods, as long as they kill me so I don't have to live in this ugly world anymore.

Once in the woods, I found a creek and a big willow tree next to it. I sat down under the willow, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them tight. This place is really peaceful, to be honest.

I didn't realize I was crying until I pulled my face away from my jeans and saw two wet spots on the knees. I wiped the tears away and pulled out the blade that was in my pocket. I pressed it to the scarred, yet soft still, piece of flesh on my left wrist. I'm only going to cut. I'm not going to end it all. Not yet anyway.

I began to drag it across the flesh, watching as blood begins to trickle and drop onto the leaves on the ground. I felt odd being here to release, since every other time it was in my room. But I was extra depressed today, so whatever.

More tears excaped my eyes. God knows how long I've done this to myself. Maybe since I was eleven, I think. I'm seventeen now, so, what? Six years? Yeah. Six years. But I'll be eighteen soon enough. It seems that October 31st can't come fast enough.

I choked out a sob as I began to cut another spot on my forearm. I've gotten used to the pain of the blade dragging across my arm, and to be honest, it doesn't hurt much anymore. Sometimes, it stings, but I don't mind. It hides all of my other pain, as known as my life, actually. It's quite depressing, if I do say so myself. My life is really just one big depressing blob.

I let out a shaky breath, admiring the two cuts. They weren't really all that satisfying, if I'm honest. But I stopped, and just continued to watch the blood fall off of my wrist and arm and onto the ground.

I choked out another sob, which turned into several. I began sobbing hard into my knees, with only one arm wrapped around them, while the left, the one that was bleeding, laid next to my side. I just sobbed into my legs for a few moments, but then I began to cut again, angrier. Then I heard a voice.

"Stop, please stop," They begged, then I realized the voice belonged to a male. I looked up and saw this guy. He was wearing a trenchcoat, he had black hair and mesmerizing hazel eyes. He was awfully attractive, and looked around twenty years old.

I just blinked, gulping. Did he really just ask if I was okay? No, he must be talking to someone else that I can't see. Someone behind me, perhaps? I didn't look though. I just stared at him, tears slowly falling down my facmy 

He walked over to me, and then crouched beside me. I just looked at him. I looked into his eyes and they were full of worry. Worry for me, perhaps? No, that's stupid. No one worries about me. Maybe Matty and Charlie, but no one else. I'm not important.

"Are you okay?" He asked again, eyes trailing to my wrist and I'm pretty sure his breath hitched. He looked into my sad eyes and then hugged me, which felt pretty weird. I don't know if I've ever been hugged before. Even in the orphanage I was beat up on by the kids that were older than me.

I used my right arm to attempt to hug him back, but I failed. He pulled away though, so I was kind of relieved.

"I'm sorry," I sighed, looking down at my legs. "It's just... I've never been hugged before..."

He looked slightly confused. "Never?" He asked, looking like he felt sorry for me. Why hasn't he hit me yet though? I can't get that thought out of my head.

I shook my head, and then he sighed. He hugged me again, which again, took me by surprise. After about thirty seconds, he pulled away.

"What's your name?" He asked me, lifting his hand to run it through his hair, but I flinched. I thought he was going to hit me. I'm so stupid. He looked at me perplexedly. I gulped.

"Frank," I choked, almost about to cry again because of my stupidity. I started shaking and I stared at the ground. I felt his eyes burn into me.

"I'm Gerard," he said, leaning over in the way of my vision, probably on purpose. I then looked at his face. "Why don't we get you cleaned up?" He outstretched his arm out to me after he stood up.

I sighed and nodded. "G- Gerard?" I asked, gripping onto his outstretched arm to haul myself up. He looked at me as my sign to go on. "W- why haven't you hit me yet?" I had to ask. I needed to know.

His lips parted in surprise. "Why would I hit you?" He questioned, looking at me like his was in shock. I shrugged.

"It seems like everyone likes to," I answered simply, beginning to walk away.

He ran in front of me. "Is that where all the bruises came from?" He asked, looking at me in my eyes. I nodded. "Why don't you tell your parents?"

I laughed dryly. "My 'parents' inflicted most of these," I told him, using the finger quotation marks on the word parents. I knew I shouldn't have, but I needed to tell someone. It felt good to let it out for once. "Some of them are from the kids at school," I added.

His jaw dropped, but only barely. His eyes also widened. I looked down, ashamed of myself and embarrassed. He again, pulled me into another hug.

We walked in silence after that. Gerard took me to his house.

"My brother's out with my mom, so we're here by ourselves," he informed me. I nodded, looking around the place. He then took me into the bathroom and wet a rag in the sink.

"So, Frank," Gerard began, dabbing the cuts on my arm with a warm, wet rag. "What do you like to do?"

This is an easy question. "I play guitar," I told him, which made him smile a little. He then finished with the rag and tossed it into the trash.

I looked at the clock on my phone: 6:48PM. I groaned.

"I have to go, my 'parents' will be home soon," I sighed, and saw Gerard's smile disappear. "I'll see you around?" I asked. He nodded.

"Of course," he smiled, helping me stand up even though I was fully capable of doing it myself. "Can you meet me at the woods tomorrow?"

"Yeah, after school." He nodded at that.

I then left after thanking Gerard again. I made my way to my hell and walked up to my room, not even bothering to eat. I finished up my homework and then surfed the web for some new songs to learn on my guitar.

-


	3. "Gay is not a synonym for shitty," says the God of Emo, Pete Wentz

I did find a song. It took awhile searching for songs, but I found one.

It's called 'If You Knew'. It's by Joel Faviere. I can relate to it.

I began strumming the guitar, looking at the lyrics so I could sing them.

"They think you're crazy.  
They think you're mad.  
They call you stupid, worthless, tell you you're not worth it.

Now you're walking back to a place you call home,  
But you feel so alone.

The same hurtful hits, it's your darker place.  
In your virgin ears, the remarks they make.

And if they, if they really knew all of those things  
That you do in your room to hide the pain...  
I bet their minds would change.  
I'll bet their minds would change.

They'd change if they knew the pain.  
Change...

'Cause I believe in these scars.  
'Cause I believe..."

I want to actually write my own song. But I'll do that another time. I got really tired really quick.

-

Time to go to hell. I sighed, walking out the front door.

I walked down the sidewalk, and all the way to school. And like usual, I was met at the doors by fists. This time, Adam was smart enough to drag me into the empty bathroom.

"Hey, fag," he smirked, tilting his head to the side and jacking me up against the wall. He spat in my face, and dropped me. I wiped the spit off.

"So, what shall we do today?" Adam asked, turning to his friend Kevin who just shrugged. Adam turned back to me. He kicked me hard in my ribs, causing me to cry out.

-

After they were done beating me, they left the bathroom. I just went to class afterwards.

When class ended, I stood by my locker, waiting for the bell to ring so I could go to my next class.

Adam stood only a short distance away. He was talking to his friend Jeff. I only heard part of the conversation:

"What do you mean you can't come to the party?" I heard Adam ask, sounding totally surprised. But in a bad way.

"Yeah, my mom said no because I have to finish up my late homework," Jeff replied, sighing out. He ran a hand threw his hair.

"That's so gay," Adam said, laughing a little, but still upset.

"G.I.N.A.S.F.S." Someone next to me said randomly. I looked at the guy.

"What?" Adam asked, turning to the dude and almost laughing at him. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Gay is not a synonym for shitty," the dude replied, crossing his arms and leaning against what I assumed to be his locker. Adam walked up to the dude, getting in his face.

"Whatever, emo fag," Adam spat off to the side, all up in the dude's face. The dude looked unfazed by Adam's comment, and he smirked, which only made Adam get even more pissed off.

The dude sighed and rolled his eyes after Adam left. He then turned to look at me, and it then occurred to me that I was staring.

"Dude, who are you?" I asked, flabbergasted. They guy chuckled and walked over to me. I then noticed he wore a shit ton of eyeliner. "Like, seriously. You've got guts. He got in your face and you didn't even flinch. You just watched him with a smirk."

"That's only because he's amusing," he dude replied, shrugging. He crossed his arms and leaned against the lockers beside me. "My name's Pete, by the way. Pete Wentz." I nodded.

"I'm Frank," I said, sighing out because of the bell ringing. "Frank Iero. It's nice to meet you, Pete. By the way, are you sure your name isn't god?"

"The pleasure's all mine. And I am god. The god of emo." He smiled and so did I.

-

I forgot I had promised Gerard that I would meet him in the woods. I went there immediately after school, ignoring the hell that is supposed to be called home. I walked quickly, too, trying to remember exactly where the creek was.

I found it, and there he was. He sat beneath the tree, smoking a cigarette. He finished it off as soon as he saw me. He smiled widely and I did in return.

"Hey," he breathed, looking at me, smiling still. I blushed. I sat beside him underneath the tree. "I didn't think you'd come, to be honest. Why didn't you go home first?"

I gulped. "You mean hell," I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I don't have a real home. It's okay though. I'm just a waste and soon enough I'll be eighteen and then I'll be gone."

He frowned, touching a spot on my shoulder, which happened to be bruised and sore. I grimaced and flinched. He pulled away immediately.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, dropping his hand to the ground and playing with the leaves. I touched his shoulder and he looked up at me. I smiled.

"It's okay," I whispered, and receiving a sad smile from Gerard. I pulled him into a hug. He's the only one that's been nice to me besides Matty, Charlie and Mikey.

There was silence for a moment. Then Gerard breathed out shakily, and I realized he was crying. Why?

"Hey, why are you crying?" I asked, rubbing his back in a comforting manner. He pushed some hair behind his ear as he pulled his face away from my shoulder. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand before looking into my eyes. He then rested his forehead on my shoulder.

"I know what it's like," he whispered softly, taking ahold of my hands. I just sat there, trying to look at him, a million thoughts going through my head.

"What?" I asked, trying to cry myself. I squeezed his hands before I let go of one and used it to lift his head to look into his eyes. He used his free hand to wipe away more tears. He gulped.

"I- I know what it's like to be abused," he whispered, looking away, possibly from shame or embarrassment. He exhaled shakily, another tear rolling down his face. "My parents died in a car crash and I had to live with my uncle. After I turned eighteen, I was going to leave but he said if I left, then he'd have to beat on him instead. My little brother, Mikey."

"Mikey Way?" I asked, eyes wide. He nodded slowly. "He helped me when I got beat up at school, but I haven't gotten a chance to talk to him since..."

"Oh. Well, that's why I never left. Mikey's eighteen now, so he's trying to move out. Once he finds a place to go, I'm taking off and getting as far away as I can from that monster. I'm twenty fucking one and I should've left... But I couldn't let my brother get hurt, you know?"

Gerard was sobbing and I was crying too. I wiped away his tears and told him that what he's doing for his brother is selfless and brave and that Mikey should be very thankful.

"You shouldn't have to deal with that," I muttered, pushing pieces of Gerard's hair behind his ear. He sighed. "Does he still hit you? Are you still protecting Mikey?" He nodded.

"He said if I called the cops, he'd kill us before they got there and leave," he choked out. I pulled him into another hug. "Frank, I don't know how long I can take it. Mikey won't leave Belleville. And I just..."

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, barely audible. Gerard looked up at me.

"Frank, you should just run away."

"I- I... I can't," I uttered, wiping away the tears on my cheeks. I looked into his hazel eyes.

"I'm going to run away soon. You can run away with me."

"I can't. I'm... It's... It's dangerous. They'll find me. They'll do something. Something horrible. I know it."

"Just think about it, okay?" He begged, grabbing my hands and squeezing a little.

"I guess... But... I know I can't."

"If you change your mind, you know you can run away with me, anytime you want."

"I know."

-

I stayed at the woods with Gerard for as long as possible. The next day, after school, when we met up, he said he was going to run away in three days, but he said he couldn't tell me where he was going.

Apparently, Mikey and Pete were best friends and Mikey was going to sneak out in the middle of the night (with Pete's help) an stay at Pete's house for awhile.

I had three days to make up my mind.

I didn't want to leave Matty and Charlie, but I couldn't stay here. I'd end up dead before I turned eighteen, and I knew it.

Gerard said that he'd take me wherever if I didn't want to go where he was going. Well, where the fuck would I go? I think I have an old friend somewhere I could stay with. I'm not sure.

Well, in three days, I better have it figured out.

-


	4. Northern Downpour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs: Cut - Plumb, She Had The World - Panic! At The Disco, Northern Downpour - Panic! At The Disco.
> 
> Trigger warning.

Only two days left now. I think I'm going to go. Maybe. I want to go so badly but...

Adam pushing me up against the brick wall jolted me out of my thoughts. He did it so hard that I nearly blacked out.

I was on my way home, but I guess he must've followed me. Oh shit, I'm so dead.

"Hello, emo boy," Adam snarled, dragging me by my shirt all the way to an alleyway. He dropped me on the ground and began kicking me, but I am used to the pain. It didn't hurt that much at all.

"Hey fag," Adam spat, grabbing ahold of my shirt and lifting me up. He held me up with one hand whilst he punched me with the other. I felt the blood trickle from my nose down my face. It trickled down into the crease of my lips, and pooled at the corners. I spat it out at Adam.

The next thing I knew, he hit me and everything was fading to black.

Goodnight.

-

When I opened my eyes, I was still in the alleyway, behind some metal garbage cans like the one Oscar the Grouch lives in. Oh my god. What the fuck, Frank? Jesus, grow up.

Slowly, I sat up, scanning the dark alleyway. Not a soul in sight. I sighed out in relief, for I was truly alone. I mean, I wish Gerard was here. I miss him.

Shut the fuck up, no you don't.

You're right. Maybe.

Okay, okay, enough. Anyway, it was dark and I could hardly see anything.

I pulled my knees to my chest. My god, my 'parents' are so going to kill me. I can't go home. I fucking can't. I sighed out.

I do not want to be afraid. I'm always afraid, and I don't want to be. I want to be strong and not hopeless. I don't want to be worthless. I don't want to be unloved. But I am. Fucking love does not exist. I promise I will never sing of love if it does not exist. I promise.

Because it doesn't. No one will ever love me and I will never love anyone. It's just how it is. Soulmates don't exist either. They never did and never will.

I reached in my pocket and found my razorblade. I studied it by the light of the silvery moon. It was a dim light that I was studying it in, but it was light nonetheless. The moon is one of the things that calm me.

Hey moon, please forget to fall down. Hey moon, don't you go down. 

I felt a drop of liquid hit my arm.

My tears still drip sore. I'm crying.

I do not want to be afraid. I do not want to die inside just to breathe in. I'm tired of feeling so numb. Relief exists I find it when I am cut.

And so I cut... Myself.

I feel alone here... It's cold... And I miss Gerard. And now I'm thinking of him. And the blood poured out of my wrist at a steady pace. But I like it. I'm feeling something. Pain. It feels okay. I don't want to die right now, but this is my anesthetic... I'm numb and this is my relief.

I need Gerard... I know I'm not alone in this god awful world... With him... When I'm with him, I don't have the urge to cut. When our eyes meet, I know he sees it... I think he does. He's like... He's my wonderwall- no.

I can't think like this. I can't. Gerard is my friend. My god, I'm such an idiot.

I didn't even notice I was being approached. I looked up at the guy that stood in front of me.

"Are you okay?" He asked me, sitting beside me and pushing the trash away. I nodded. I knew I was covered in blood, but I didn't particularly care.

He looked off. "Tell me what's troubling you?" He asked, head turning back in my direction. I raised a skeptical and quizzical eyebrow at him. Why does he care? "Oh, I'm Brendon. You are...?"

"Frank," I said simply, still debating whether or not I should tell him what's troubling me tonight. "Nice to meet you, Brendon. What's bothering me, you asked, is that I think I might be falling for my friend I met a few days ago and I need to get far away from here. Fucking people here..."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm in love with my best friend, Ryan," he sighed out, leaning against the wall and turning on the screen of his phone. He turned so I could see the background. "This is him." He pointed to the cute, shy-looking boy next to him on the background.

"He's cute," I commented, earning myself a smile from Brendon. He nodded and stared at the picture for a few moments before pocketing the phone. He bit his lip.

"You ever had a girlfriend?" I asked.

"Well, not really," he began. "She had the world upon a string, but she didn't ever hold me. Spun the stars on her fingernails, but it never made her happy, 'cause she couldn't ever have me. She said she'd won the world at a carnival, but she couldn't ever win me, 'cause she couldn't ever catch me. 

"When I looked in her eyes, well I just saw the sky. I didn't love her I was just passing the time. She could've loved me if I knew how to lie. But who could love me? I am out of my mind. Throwing a line out to sea to see if I can catch a dream... The sun was always in her eyes; she didn't even see me. But that girl had so much love, she'd wanna kiss you all the time. Yeah, she'd wanna kiss you all the time. It was always her falling for me."

"What's your guy look like?" He asked suddenly, eyes fixated on my face and nowhere else. I chuckled a little.

"Why do you assume I like a guy?"

"You said Ryan is cute," he giggled, shrugging a little. I nodded before pulling out my phone and scrolling through the gallery to the only picture I have of Gerard. I showed it to Brendon. "He's fine, hot damn," he commented, making me blush for an unknown reason.

"Yeah, I suppose he is," I smiled, staring at the photo for a moment, like Brendon. I felt a blush creep onto my face and I pocketed my phone.

"Boy, you know you like him," he stated oh so matter-of-factly. I blushed a deeper shade of red, but shook my head.

"No, I don't like him more than a friend," I said, more to remind myself than anything.

Brendon scoffed. "But you just said-"

"I know," I interrupted. "But I can't have feelings for him. I don't. He doesn't like me either. He couldn't love me. Nobody can. Not even my family, which aren't even my family. I- just- never mind. It's complicated. I'm sorry you're having to listen to me talk about my pathetic life."

Brendon shrugged. "It's fine," he sighed out, crossing his arms. He pulled his phone out when it beeped and checked the notification. "Northern Downpour sends it's love," he said randomly, but then I realized he was talking about the weather. I think he was being sarcastic.

"I've got to go," Brendon said as it started to rain. He stood up and looked at me, then sat back down. "Never mind. I'll just chill with you. Is that okay?"

I nodded.

It began pouring. The Northern Downpour is here.

-

I didn't realize I had fallen asleep. It was early in the morning. Jesus.

There was a piece of paper in my lap. It had Brendon's number on it. I unfolded it and the inside read:

'Someday you will be loved.'

I decided to text Brendon. 'What are you up to?'

A few minutes later, I got a... Pretty... Odd reply.

'Sugarcane in the easy morning. Weathervanes my one and lonely.'

'Okay.' I replied.

I stood up and decided not to go to school. I instead went to the woods.

Gerard was there.

"Gerard!" I called, dropping to my knees beside him and wrapping him up in the tightest hug. He hugged back, thankfully.

"Frank, what happened to you?" He asked softly, voice sounding so sad and sympathetic. "Are you okay?" He gestured to my face.

"It was Adam," I shrugged, letting go of him and sitting beside him. "I'm tired of it, but there's nothing I can do about it. I just..."

"Run away with me," he suggested, looking in my eyes as he talked. I blushed and turned away. I sighed out. "Think about it, Frankie."

I blushed a deeper shade of red at my new nickname. "Frankie," I mumbled, smiling to myself a little. It sounds like a little kid's name but hearing it come from Gerard sounds cute. It's cute as fuck. He's cute a as fuck.

Goddamn it, I shouldn't think like this about Gerard. I'm so stupid.

"Earth to Frankie," Gerard giggled, waving a hand in front of my face. I giggled a little, too. "Well, let me know if you want to go. I need to know by tomorrow night, okay? Because that's when I leave."

"Okay," I sighed out, running a hand through my hair. "Tomorrow night, you said?"

"Yes," he confirmed, resting his head on my shoulder, succeeding to make me blush once more. Goddamn it, Gerard.

"I'm a troubled soul," Gerard stated randomly, and for an odd reason I grabbed his hand. I feel the same. Almost the exact same. Wait, the exact same. 

"Me too," I whispered, turning my head and realizing his wasn't on my shoulder anymore. In fact, our faces were merely inches apart. Fucking inches. Oh my god, no, this can't be happening... He can't kiss me, I'm... Me!

As his face was getting closer to mine, my heart pounded harder in my chest. And his lips were a fucking inch away from mine when his phone went off.

He pulled away quickly, blushing because of what he almost did, but didn't do. I blushed too.

"It's Mikey," Gerard stated, typing a message into the box and hitting send before setting down the phone. "He said to hurry home and help him pack. He's leaving tonight. And by the way, I'm sorry I lied to you on the day we met. Remember? I told you Mikey and my mom were out, but she's dead. I just didn't want you to think I was weak or something. I'm sorry..."

"It's totally cool," I assured him, smiling just a little. "We're cool. Next time, tell me. Just don't make a habit of lying a lot, because you'll wind up in a lot of trouble. I know from experience."

"You sound wise, Frankie." We both giggled at that.

"See you tomorrow, Gerard," I said, waving at him as he got up to leave. He waved back.

"Maybe you'll see me tonight," he said, walking off. I blushed again. Fuck, man.

"Okay!"

And then he was gone. And I could go home and probably pack, because I don't think I'll be able to live without Gerard. It just doesn't seem like it would be right. I don't know. Perhaps I'm stupid. 

Maybe I can hang out with Brendon and have him help me pack or something. I know that sounds kind of rude, considering I only met him last night, but whatever.

I also need to say goodbye to Charlie and Matty and maybe Mikey and Pete if I'm going. If not, then well, I need to find somewhere else to live, because I can't take it anymore: living in that horrible place.

I think, though, that I'd rather run away with Gerard.

I mean, he said I could run away with him anytime I want.

-


	5. Pinkish

I already said goodbye to Matty and Charlie. I'm going. For sure. I've got my stuff packed and ready to go. My "parents" are gone, and I'm leaving.

I grabbed everything I wanted and needed, like: clothes, my guitar, some pictures of me and my friends, my phone and other stuff like CDs and stuff.

I headed for the door and opened it up. I stepped out and took a glance back inside. I'm not going to miss this place. Not one bit. I slammed the door and made my way to Gerard's house.

I saw his car immediately as I was passing Pete's. He was probably saying goodbye to Mikey. I waited about two houses down until he came out and got in the driver's seat. I heard the engine roar to life and that's when I ran to the car.

Just as he was about to pull away, I tapped the passenger seat's window. He smiled as he saw me and rolled down the window.

"Frank," he breathed, smiling and nodding at me. I felt the heat from inside the car smack me in the face, and I was actually perfectly fine with that; I was freezing my ass off. "You came..."

"I don't know where you're going, but do you got room for one more troubled soul?" I asked, shivering a little. He nodded immediately and unlocked the door and I put my stuff in the back, and I gratefully got inside with the heat.

"I don't know where I'm going, but I don't think I'm coming home," I continued, buckling my seatbelt and snuggling into my hoodie. It felt a little warmer in the heat. "So let's be alone together... Until we get to wherever." I felt myself blush at my choice of words, but luckily Gerard didn't notice. He just smiled like it was the happiest day of his life; and I reckoned it was.

"It really means a lot to me that you came and you're here and you're going with me," Gerard gushed, smile still in tact on his delicate, beautiful, pink lips. Why am I thinking like this about him?

"Honestly, I don't think I would've had the guts to come if you were anybody else," I whispered truthfully, and regretted it immediately as I blushed a shade of red that was unmistakable. I gulped and my heart started beating wildly in my chest.

Gerard put his car into gear and began driving. "Really?" He asked, briefly glancing at me with his beautiful eyes. His pink lips were still turned up into a smile. Gerard is just beautiful and I can't help that.

I nodded weakly as the blush got deeper. "Y- yeah," I choked out, my heart still beating out of my chest. Gerard's smile grew wider and his eyes seemed to have lit up. I then felt his fingers grab ahold of mine and soon my hand was in his.

I felt my breath hitch as he squeezed my hand a little and took a look and smiled at me. I managed to weakly smile back and turn the radio up as we headed down the dark road.

"Do you want to stop for the night at a motel?" He asked after awhile, which startled me slightly. He looked over at me for a second and then looked back to the road. "It's just, it's too cold to sleep in the car and I'm too worn out to finish driving and I'm sure you don't drive, so..."

"Yeah, you can if you want," I told him, squeezing his hand lightly and noticing our hands had been joined for about an hour or so. It felt odd.

He nodded and pulled into the first motel we'd seen. It was packed, but surely they'd have something.

We got out and we walked inside to the front desk. The lady behind it smiled warmly. I think I already liked her. She seemed nice.

"Um, do you have a room with two beds?" Gerard asked politely, pulling out some money to be able to pay her. She put on her glasses and looked through some things.

"Uh, I'm afraid not," she sighed, taking off her glasses and putting them down. "We only have one room available. It's only twenty dollars, but... It's only got one bed. I'm sorry."

"No, it's fine, we'll take it," Gerard muttered as he handed her a twenty. She put it in her drawer and then handed us a key.

"The room is 420, on the fifth floor," she told us, pointing to the stairs that were outside. "There's the stairs. Enjoy your stay. And if you need anything, I'll be here." Gerard thanked her and took ahold of my hand and lead me outside, up the four flights of stairs, and into our room.

"So, how are we going to do this?" I asked nervously, wanting to change out of my clothes and get comfortable. But I didn't bring any clothes in. Shit.

"You're taking the bed and I've got the floor," Gerard stated, taking one of the pillows off the bed and the extra blankets out of the closet. He took off his shoes and laid down on the floor. I started to feel extremely guilty. He should be the one with the bed, not me.

"Gerard," I whined, taking off my shoes as well. I didn't take off anything else despite how uncomfortable I was. Gerard looked up at me standing there and raised an eyebrow. "You take the bed, please," I continued, to which Gerard only shook his head and closed his eyes. "I'll feel guilty if you don't."

Gerard sighed, but still shook his head nonetheless. I sighed too. "Fine," I grumbled, making my way into the bathroom.

Once I was out, I turned out the lights before shucking my pants off; I could not sleep in those goddamn tight things. I climbed into bed and curled up into a small ball. How was I going to get any sleep when I knew Gerard was sleeping uncomfortably on the floor?

After about fifteen minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. "Gerard?" I breathed shakily into the somewhat warm air. I heard Gerard move around a bit and I saw him sit up. I knew he wasn't asleep.

"Yeah?" He asked quietly, looking at me in the dark. I gulped and sat up too.

"W- will you lay with me?"

He nodded immediately and stood up. He collected all of the blankets and the pillow off the floor and placed them on the bed where they went.

"Do you mind if I take my shirt off?" He asked, to which I responded by shaking my head. He nodded as he stripped himself of his shirt only. He tossed it beside the bed where my pants were. Then he climbed into bed next to me, laying behind me.

"Please hold me," I whispered, close to crying for some reason. I don't know what the fuck was going on with me. I just felt like I needed to be close to him. I don't know why. It's like he just made me feel better. Maybe I was just scared for some reason.

I felt him slide closer to me and wrap his arms around me. I instantly felt safe in his arms. He was warm, too. He then snuggled up next to me underneath the warm blankets as my hand held his arm. And soon, we were both asleep.

-

I woke up with Gerard's arms still around me, but I was facing him. We were pressed together.

I used my arm that I wasn't laying on and I wrapped it around his waist, my hand settling on his back. I moved my hand up and down his back slowly, and I was feeling more comfortable. I examined Gerard's shirtless torso as he continued to sleep; my god, he was very gorgeous. If he was awake, I'd never have the courage to wrap my arm around him and all of that.

About five minutes later, his eyes fluttered open to reveal his beautiful hazel irises. I took in the way he looked just then, with his pale face, his pinkish lips, his raven black hair that fell carelessly, yet beautifully, around his face, and those gorgeous hazel eyes that were to die for.

I think I'm falling for him. 

"Good morning," he whispered sleepily, sitting up a little and letting go of me. I missed the feeling of his arms around me already. Pathetic, right?

"Good morning," I replied, stretching and yawning. Gerard chuckled and climbed out of bed. I just sat there and watched him as he walked to the other side of the room to check his phone.

"You're so beautiful," I muttered, just speaking my mind, yet regretting it instantly and hoping he couldn't hear me. Oh my God, I'm so fucking stupid.

He looked straight at me then. He walked over to me and I felt a blush make it's way onto my cheeks. He sat down on the bed and caressed my cheek, moving a lock of hair out of my eyes.

"You're so sweet, Frankie," he whispered softly, gazing into my eyes. Suddenly, his eyes fluttered closed and the next thing I know, his pinkish lips were pressed onto my cheek, and I blushed the exact red as the streak in Pete's hair.

"Now get dressed, and we'll head out," he said, getting up and tossing his shirt on. I nodded and got up and put my pants on. We left right after.

Fuck, I can't get the fact that his pinkish lips kissed my cheek, and how that made me feel.

-


	6. Ray

"Gerard, please tell me where we're going," I begged, sticking out my bottom lip and giving him the puppy dog eyes. He glanced at me and giggled. "What?"

"Puppy dog eyes?" He asked, giggling a little. "Seriously? How old are you?" I stuck my tongue out at him playfully and he just giggled more. "And we're going to Newark, to stay with my friend, Ray." I nodded, still giggling.

"So, Gerard," I began after we settled down a little. He looked over at me briefly. "Tell me a little more about yourself."

He nodded. "Okay, but you have to tell me a little about you, too." I nodded as well. "Okay, so, what do you wanna know? My life story?" He chuckled a little, but I nodded seriously. "Okay. Well, Mikey and I were happy when we were younger. When our parents were still alive. We were like a regular family: normal, not really dysfunctional. We were good.

"Then there was this one day... My Grandma got really sick and she was dying and my mom and dad went to see her. They said Mikey and I were too young to see her like that. Whatever. So we were being watched by my uncle. Then, about a day later, there's a knock on the door. The police. They said our parents died in a car accident. We were forced to live with our uncle.

"The funeral was the same day as our grandma's. It was hard. So then, I was depressed. Then the abuse started. Then the self-harming started, and I couldn't stop. Mikey forced me to go to a therapist, and it got better. I stopped self-harming. But the abuse... It was too much. I couldn't leave. And now I'm here."

Wow.

"Gerard, I'm so sorry," I breathed, taking his hand in mine. He looked at our joined hands for a moment and smiled. "I really am."

"Don't be," he smiled lightly, squeezing my hand just a little. He looked over at me for a moment. "Everything that's ever happened to me, made me who I am now. And now I'm here, with you, driving off to a place where our lives will be better. And to be honest, I'm the happiest I've been since my parents were alive."

We sat in silence for awhile. "So, you never mentioned your love life," I pointed out, blushing just a little, but Gerard didn't notice. He just smiled in response. "Ever had a girlfriend? Boyfriend? Cat?"

We both giggled at that. "I'm actually allergic to cats," he stated, smile never leaving those pinkish lips. "And yeah, I've had both. I dated a girl named Lindsey, whom I'm still friends with, and I dated a guy named Bert, whom I am not still friends with, due to the fact he was an asshole."

I nodded in response. "You're still friends with the girl?" I asked curiously, looking at him the entire time. He nodded slowly.

"Yeah, the breakup was mutual," he stated, taking his hand away from mine to turn the wheel. He then grabbed my hand again afterwards, which made me smile widely. "We both agreed it wasn't working as a romantic relationship. But friends, we can do. She was my first kiss, too. She is the first person I ever had sex with. She is a year older than me, as well. I think the relationship didn't work out because I was gay and she was a lesbian." He shrugged.

"And that's when Bert came along," he continued, sighing out as he spoke. "But I don't want to talk about that." I nodded. I get that. I wouldn't want to talk about an ex that was an asshole either. "And what about you, Frankie? Your life? Your love life?"

"My life is the definition of sad," I stated, shrugging and sighing. Gerard looked at me sadly. "I was given up for adoption when I was a baby. I lived at an orphanage. Then I was adopted when I was nine. They were okay at first. Just creepy. Then they started to abuse me. I started cutting when I was eleven and I haven't stopped. I'm seventeen now." I gulped when Gerard's head snapped in my direction.

"I've only had two friends since I was twelve, which were Matty and Charlie. I got bullied my entire life. I tried to commit suicide when I was thirteen, and again when I was fifteen and sixteen. About a week ago, I met Mikey, and then I met you, and a couple days ago, I met Pete. And now I'm here, so..."

"Oh Frankie..." Gerard sighed, squeezing my hand tighter. I felt like I was about to cry, but I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my chest. "What about your love life, sweetie?" I blushed at the nickname.

"Well, I'm gay, I'm a virgin, and I've never been kissed, or had a boyfriend, girlfriend, or cat," I stated, sighing a little. Gerard looked really sad. "I've never been in love and no one has ever loved me. I don't even know if love is real or not." I was choking out my words. "I'm sorry," I whispered, trying my hardest to hold back all my tears.

"No, Frankie, don't be," he said softly as he pulled the car over. He pulled me into a hug as soon as we stopped. I let the tears flow then. I cried silently into Gerard's shoulder, clinging to him like he was my lifeline. I then sobbed loudly.

"Hush," he whispered, rubbing my back in a comforting manner. "It's okay. Dry your eyes." I moved back from him just a little, and he wiped away the tears on my cheeks. "Now, let's go. We're almost there."

The rest of the ride was filled with music; Gerard and I silently agreed that if we talked much more, we'd both probably end up in tears.

As soon as we got there, a guy with an afro was sitting outside on the front step of what I assumed was his house. I'm also assuming that he is Ray.

Gerard stepped out first. "Gee!" Ray exclaimed, jumping up and running to Gerard and engulfing him in a hug. Gee? What a cute nickname. Fuck.

"Hey Ray," Gerard replied, returning the hug. "Um, I've brought my friend, Frank along." Gerard's voice quieted down a little more with his next words, but I could still hear. "He's been abused, bullied, and he self harms. I had to get him out of there."

Ray looked over to where I sat in the car, trying not to look like I was listening. "He's cute," he commented, nodding, which made his afro bounce around, which was quite funny, but I didn't laugh on the outside. "Is he your boyfriend? Do you loooooove him?"

Gerard blushed, and so did I. "No, he's not," Gerard sighed, smacking Ray's arm lightly, which he looked at Gerard and then the car and responded with an "Ow! Your boyfriend hit me!" I chuckled and Gerard hit Ray's arm once more.

"But seriously," Ray began quietly, leaning closer to Gerard. It didn't help. I could still hear everything. "Do you like him? Have you kissed him? Tell me!"

"Well, I like him," Gerard stated, and I think I was about to get sick. Not at the thought of Gerard liking me, but the thought of Gerard liking me. "And I kissed his cheek. And he's only a friend. Well, for now anyway." And that's when I opened the door and threw up.

"Yo man, are you alright?!" Ray exclaimed, running over to me. Gerard ran with him. Gerard rubbed my back lightly as my entire breakfast spilled out of my mouth and onto the pavement. Ray went and grabbed the hose and washed it down the drain when I was done.

"Are you okay, Frankie?" Gerard asked, wiping my mouth with a napkin and helping me out of the car. Ray gestured for us to go inside while he finished spraying the pavement clean. We grabbed our bags and went inside.

Ray came in about five minutes later to show us what room we'll be staying in. Room, because he didn't know I was coming so he only cleaned out one bedroom.

"If one of you is more comfortable sleeping on the couch, go right ahead," Ray told us as he showed us the room. It had only one full sized bed, so yeah. "Unless you'd rather sleep on the floor. Otherwise, both of you will have to share that bed. Which you could do. It's big enough."

"Okay," I muttered, setting my stuff down and looking at Gerard. He sighed as he set his stuff down. He then turned to Ray.

"I'll take the floor if you've got extra blankets," Gerard said softly, and Ray nodded and left the room to get more blankets. Gerard turned to me to say something, but I talked before he could.

"Please take the bed, Gerard," I sighed, feeling bad again. He shook his head and started going through his stuff. I decided to say the only thing I knew that would get him into that bed. And not in a sexual way either. "Then please share it with me?"

"Okay," he muttered, not looking at me and going through the bag that had his bedding. He also unpacked some clothes. He then turned to me and smiled genuinely, before pulling me into a hug. I hugged him back. "You might want to unpack some things, Frankie," he said as we broke the hug apart.

I nodded and unpacked my bedding and some clothes, like Gerard. Gerard and Ray went out to the store whilst I decided to shower. I took a pair of clothes and headed to the bathroom.

I remember Ray saying something about the bathroom light, but I can't remember what exactly he said. It doesn't matter; I couldn't find the switch anyway.

About twenty minutes later, I stepped out to get dressed. I heard the front door open. I then heard footsteps coming down the hall. I almost got my boxers up enough to cover my private parts when the door to the bathroom flew open.

-


	7. Comfortable bed thing

Oh shit. My junk was still out and there Gerard stood in the bathroom doorway.

"Fuck, Frank, I'm so sorry!" Gerard exclaimed, frozen it place for a moment. I noticed the tightening in his pants and I blushed. I pulled my boxers the rest of the way up and stood there awkwardly.

"The bathroom light wasn't on," Gerard pointed out, trying to explain. "R- Ray said if it wasn't on, i- it'd be safe to go in. I'm so sorry, Frankie..." I shrugged.

"I couldn't find the light switch," I stated, sliding my pajama pants on and then my shirt. Gerard began to apologize again, but I interrupted him. "Don't worry about it, Gee, it was an accident." And then I walked back to our room.

About five minutes later, I realized I forgot my bracelet. 'Gerard should be out by now anyways,' I thought to myself. I walked to the bathroom and the light wasn't on, so it was safe. Gerard said Ray said so.

I opened up the door and the first thing I saw was Gerard. His head was thrown back. The little amount of light streaming in through the window was enough for me to see the beads of sweat forming on his forehead. I noticed he was dressed in a T-shirt; his jacket was discarded on the floor.

The main thing I noticed though, was the moans escaping his lips, as he was, you know, touching himself... Shit.

"Oh- ohh... My god," Gerard moaned, gripping the windowsill with his spare hand. Little breathy gasps emerged from his lips as he picked up his pace.

"Umm," I muttered, grabbing my bracelet off the countertop. I couldn't help the blush that found it's way onto my cheeks. Gerard's head snapped in my direction, and immediately, he came all over the goddamn place. He moaned and gasped as he was going through his orgasm and I just stood there, letting the tightness grow in my pants.

"Sorry!" I exclaimed, running out of there and slamming the door. I ran into our bedroom and slammed that door, too. "Goddamn it!" I whispered, blushing, again. I crawled underneath the bed while the tightness in my pants just ceased to exist. I was so fucking embarrassed. For the fucking second time today!

I just decided to hide under the bed for awhile. I think I fell asleep. I woke up though, when the door opened and I heard Gerard calling my name.

"Frank, you in here?" He asked, stepping into the room and appearing to be looking around. I couldn't really tell from where I was. "Frankie?"

"Under here," I groaned sleepily, rubbing my eyes a little. I yawned and stretched the best I could. Gerard got down on the floor and looked under the bed. "Hi," I semi-whispered, curling up into a small ball again.

"Hi, what are you doing under there?" Gerard asked, looking at me even though underneath the bed was dark as fuck.

"I'm hiding," I answered, shrugging a little. I was small and I could fit under here pretty easily. "Are you mad at me? Because I accidentally walked in on you?" I just had to jump to the point.

"No, I'm not, just please come out so we can talk better," Gerard said softly, moving so I could crawl out from under the bed. I sighed, but obliged. I sat down on the bed and so did he. "There you go. Much better."

"Promise you're not mad at me?" I asked, reaching for Gerard's hand to hold onto. "It was an accident, I promise. I thought you were done and I forgot my bracelet..."

"I'm not mad, I promise," he stated, giving my hand a gentle squeeze. He smiled at me and so I weakly returned it. "I couldn't be mad at you, Frankie, you're amazing, okay? It was an accident. I'm not mad at you. I'll do whatever it takes to prove it."

My heart started pounding hard in my chest. I know this is what I want. I want to prove myself wrong. I'm going to say it.

"Kiss me," I whispered, looking at his pink colored lips, and then his eyes. God, those fucking eyes. And I was feeling okay. I was okay. I trusted him. I wanted this. I fucking wanted him so bad. I wanted him to love me and I wanted to love him. I fell for him already.

I wanted to kiss him. But what if he didn't reciprocate? ...Oh god, I wanted to fucking kiss him.

And I kissed him. I just leaned right in and kissed him. As soon as my lips were there, on his, they were gone.

"Gerard, I'm so sor-" And he interrupted me with his lips on mine again, but this time it was okay. It wasn't me getting scared and pulling away the second mine touched his. It was okay.

His hands found their way to my jaw and neck and cheeks. He gently caressed those spots. All I could do was keep my hands on his sides and waist and back areas.

We kissed and kissed and then I was shoved onto the bed and pinned down and things were getting hotter and hotter and...

Then I woke up. On Ray's couch. What the fuck?

I looked around and noticed no one was there. It was still light out. Gerard and Ray must've went to the store. Hmm. I'm definitely not getting a shower. That's for sure. But what the hell happened? I guess I'll call Gerard.

He picked up on the fourth ring. "Frank, you're awake," he stated, giggling just a little. I raised an eyebrow. "I'm assuming you want to know what happened?" No shit.

"Yeah, just a little," I sighed, sitting back down on the couch and leaning back. This couch is so fucking comfortable. "So please tell me."

"Well, after you threw up, you passed out. We put you on the couch and left for the store. I wrote you a note, but I guess you didn't see it. So yeah. We'll be back in about ten minutes."

"Okay," I breathed, then hung up. Okay, so that was all a dream. Huh. Go figure. Well, that was a crazy ass dream. And maybe I wanted it to be a little re- No. Don't think that way about Gerard. He's your friend. Your friend. You cannot love him. Love doesn't exist anyway.

But it feels like part of me is missing when he's gone.

Shut the fuck up, Frank. You don't know what you're talking about.

You're right, goddamn it. 

I went to the room to unpack some things and noticed Gerard's bed was set up on the floor. I frowned. I moved his bedding onto the bed and made my own little bed thing made up of blankets on the floor. I smiled at my bed (which was quite impressive, if I do say so myself) and laid in it. I felt sleepy immediately. Goddamn you, you comfortable bed thing.

I fell asleep pretty quickly, too.

-

I was awakened by Gerard shaking me. I lazily tried to smack him away, but he was being persistent. Ugh. I sat up sleepily and rubbed my eyes.

"What are you doing on the floor, Frankie?" Gerard asked, sighing out. He crossed his arms and I only shrugged. "I wanted you to have the bed."

"Well, I didn't want it," I stated, shrugging once more. Gerard raised an eyebrow at me skeptically. "And besides, this is one comfortable motherfucker I've got myself here. You can sleep in the bed." Gerard giggled.

"Fine, you brat," Gerard giggled, rolling his eyes. He held out his hand to help me up. "Dinner is ready. You hungry?"

I gladly took his hand and he hauled me to my feet. "Not really," I answered honestly, shrugging and shaking my head. Gerard sighed and gave me this look. Ugh.

"Don't lie to me, Frank," he warned sternly, crossing his arms again. I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Are you lying to me? Because that deserves punishment." Fuck. I almost choked on my own spit.

"No, Gerard, I'm not, I'm being frank with you," I told him, giggling at my own little joke. "And punish me how? You're like, super fucking skinny."

"I have ways," Gerard answered simply, winking at me which caused me to blush. I then heard my phone start ringing, and I didn't recognize the number. I showed it to Gerard, who just giggled and took the phone. Okay.

"Hey bitch," Gerard greeted the person on the other end of the phone. I giggled a little and so did Gerard when the angry person on the other end started cursing. "Jesus, calm the fuck down, Michael." Oh. Oops.

"Really?" Gerard asked after a few seconds, looking around the room. "Yeah, I'm sure Ray wouldn't mind. He loves you." More silence. "No, not like that, Mikey. My god."

After a few minutes, the brothers got off the phone. "I saved Mikey's number into your contacts," Gerard stated, handing me my phone back. I noticed the lack of angry texts from 'the bitch' once I looked. Oh well. "Mikey said he wants to move here. He and Pete and their friend, Patrick are coming." I nodded.

"Ray!" Gerard exclaimed, running out of the room and looking for Ray. I heard a 'hmm' come from Ray. Well, here we go.

This should be fun.

-


	8. Did you come to stare or wash away the blood?

"Okay, so, Gerard will sleep on the bed and Frank will take the floor," Ray began, writing everything down as he said it. "Goddamn it, anyway, Mikey will take the bed in the other spare room and his friends will take the floor or one of them can sleep with Mikey. Not like that, guys. And I'll stay in my room and my friend, Bob will take the couch. Okay?" Ray looked up at us from where he sat. We both nodded. "Okay."

Mikey was supposed to be here tomorrow, so we had to spend last night and today cleaning up the spare room. Ugh.

"You guys should sleep, 'cause you look tired as fuck," Ray told us, getting up and heading for his room. "Night guys!" And then off to bed he went.

Gerard and I went to sleep as well. God, it was a long day.

-

I was in the middle of eating a wonderful bowl of Lucky Charms when Pete Wentz walked in with Mikey and Patrick. Pete saw my food and almost squealed. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"You know what I love about Mikey Way?" Pete asked suddenly, and the way Mikey was chasing Pete around afterwards showed that he didn't want Pete to say yet. What the fuck is going on?

"What, Pete?" Gerard asked from the hallway, before running in and grabbing Mikey so he couldn't move. "Go on, Mikey will stay quiet."

Pete smirked and said, "He's magically delicious!" And then he took off running. I think I just choked on my food. Pete's cackle echoed throughout the house.

"You and Mikey are dating?!" I asked, eyes the size of the fucking moon. Holy shit. Pete nodded slowly, smirk on his face as he walked over to Mikey and pulled him in for a kiss. "Get a room!" I exclaimed, covering my eyes and dropping my spoon into the bowl of my now soggy Lucky Charms.

There was a few giggles around the room, then Ray stood up. "Okay, so I'm throwing a party," Ray announced, pulling his phone out of his pocket. "My friends are coming. They're cool. You guys will get along with them."

"When is this party that you're speaking of?" Pete asked, plopping down on the couch and pulling Mikey into his lap. Mikey squealed as Pete licked down his neck. I mock gagged.

"It's tonight, so all of you get ready," Ray said coolly, walking into the hallway and probably into his room. "Oh!" Ray exclaimed, running back into the room. "Okay, so Mikey, Pete and I will go shopping for the food, Patrick, Frank and Gerard will straighten up the house and Bob will get the little snacks and drinks ready and invite everyone. No one should be too busy to come. Okay?" We all nodded and Ray took off back to his room.

-

There was a ring of the doorbell right after Ray, Mikey and Pete came back. "Can you get the door, Frank, please?" Ray asked, shouting from the kitchen where he was preparing food. I nodded and jumped up off the couch and practically flew to the door. I opened it and there stood two pretty girls, one with blonde hair and the other with black.

"Um, hello, I'm Lindsey," the blonde said softly, waving slightly, and smiling. I returned the smile. "This is my girlfriend, Jamia. We're here for Ray's party..."

"Oh!" I exclaimed, stepping aside to let them in. "I'm sorry... I'm stupid," I muttered, blushing a little. They giggled and stepped inside.

Just as I was about to close the door, a bunch more people started pulling in. I just let everyone inside. I didn't ask anything.

Soon enough, it got loud and people got drunk and it was only eight o'clock. They had been here for an hour. Jesus.

I didn't drink anything because I'm seventeen, but age didn't stop Pete and Mikey. Patrick, I noticed, didn't drink that much at all. He might've had one or two beers.

But I sat all by myself in a corner. I was close to having a panic attack. I mean, yes I'd been to school where there was a ton of people that I didn't know, but school was bigger. And everyone here was drunk and loud.

I didn't notice that Gerard had approached me until he started talking. "Frankie, you want a drink?" He asked loudly, trying to talk over the music. I shook my head. "You sure? I'm gonna get one." I nodded.

"I'm sure," I stated, just loud enough for him to hear. He nodded and kissed the top of my head. I blushed as he walked off. I looked over to see some guy with long, black, greasy hair and a stumble staring at me. Chills went down my spine at the sight of him.

I then turned my attention to Mikey and Pete, who were making out on the couch; Mikey sat on Pete's lap. I envied them; how could they have found 'love' with each other and I have never loved nor have been loved? Does love even exist? I'm envious of the fact that they could find love.

Ray walked over to me, stumbling. I guessed he was slightly tipsy. "Hey, where's Gerard?" He asked, crouching down to my level. I shrugged. "You don't know?" I shook my head. "Damn."

"He said he was going to get a drink," I told him, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging them. Ray sighed and shook his head, before standing back up.

All we heard was a loud slapping noise, a grunt and then a groan and then everyone went silent. Someone quickly shut the music off.

"What the hell is going on?" Ray asked, making his way through the crowd if his friends to see what was happening. "Fuck," Ray cursed, spitting at whoever was kneeling on the ground; the crowd was in the way and I couldn't see much. "What the hell are you doing here, McCracken?" Ray snapped, kicking the guy on the ground. The guy groaned. "Get the fuck out, Bert. Leave Gerard alone."

Bert...? Gerard's ex...?

"Gerard, are you okay?" Ray asked after Bob took Bert out of the house. Gerard didn't reply. Fuck. "Hey, Gerard, you okay? Did he touch you? Did he hurt you again?" Again? What the fuck.

I saw the door open and slam... and I'm assuming Gerard ran out... Crying. He was sobbing. I stood up quickly and jogged to Ray.

"Where would he go?" I asked quickly, grabbing my bottle of water off the table and some napkins just in case he's doing what I think he's doing. "Where, Ray? Tell me!"

"The local cemetery," Ray answered, grabbing me by the arm as I tried to walk to the door. I gave Ray this look. "That's the only place I can think of he would go. He doesn't know Newark very well." I nodded quickly and took off running out the door.

I ran down the street and found some guy standing in his yard with his dog. I ran up to his fence.

"Can I help you?" He asked, walking to the fence. His dog started barking at me. "Shush, boy. Now, can I help you?" I nodded frantically. "Okay, what do you need?"

"Two things," I began, pulling out my phone and scrolling to a picture of Gerard. I showed it to him. "Did you see him go by? Sobbing, perhaps?" He nodded quickly and I pocketed my phone. "Okay, and do you know where the local cemetery is? I just moved here." He nodded and gave me the directions. "Thank you!" I said as I ran off.

As I walked down Cemetery Drive, and I approached the cemetery gates, I heard sobbing. I barged in and walked through the cemetery.

I walked to where the sobbing was coming from. And there I saw him, Gerard, drinking by the mausoleum door. His sobs were quieter now. I assumed he was calming down.

My eyes lowered to his arm, and all of the blood. There were cuts up his arm. Oh no. Not this. He said he was better. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I slowly walked over to him, just staring at him. He looked up at me, then looked at the water bottle I held in my hand.

"Did you come to stare or wash away the blood?" He asked softly, whispering, before he took a sip of his drink. I kneeled beside him and poured some water onto a napkin. He noticed that. "You came prepared," he noted, watching as I dabbed the cuts on his arm. He winced a little.

"Of course," I whispered, still cleaning the cuts. Gerard looked over at me and smiled a little. "Want to tell me what happened?" He nodded and set his drink down.

"Bert tried to touch and kiss me, so I slapped him and kneed him between his legs," Gerard explained, watching as I finished cleaning his cuts. He handed me a small knife covered in blood. "Thank you for coming after me, Frankie," he whispered, smiling sadly.

"You're welcome," I breathed, gazing into those beautiful hazel eyes. "Gerard, you have very beautiful eyes," I stated, reaching my arm out to place my hand on his cheek. I wiped away the tears that were drying.

"So do you," he whispered, eyes fixed on my lips. My breath hitched and I closed my eyes quickly and tightly, then exhaled. I opened them and smiled at Gerard before standing up. I held out my hand for him to grab.

"Come on," I said quietly, letting Gerard grab my hand and arm to haul himself to his feet. Gerard intertwined our fingers together, and we walked straight out of the cemetery.

-

Gerard and I silently walked back to Ray's. There was no more music playing and it was only nine thirty. We made our way inside and ran into Pete.

"Hey Pete, where did the party go?" I asked, looking around, and not letting go of Gerard's hand. Pete shrugged and walked over to the couch. He plopped himself down next to a silently sleeping Bob.

"Home?" Pete shrugged again, taking a sip of beer. I sighed and lead Gerard back to our room. He threw himself down onto his bed as soon as the door was open.

He sat back up and saw me standing next to the bed. He pulled me down and I sat beside him. I smiled and so did he. God, he's beautiful.

"Frank, can I tell you something?" Gerard asked, whispering into my ear, which sent shivers down my spine. I nodded. He leaned in closer to my ear to whisper. "I like you. I like you a lot. I'm head over heels for you and it's not the alcohol talking. I've fallen for you and I think I'm starting to... I'm starting to fall in love with you... I think I love you, Frank Iero."

My breath hitched as he pulled away. He was blushing as he smiled at me shyly. I blushed too. He bit his lip as he waited for my response.

"Gerard, I..." I began, grabbing ahold of his hand for comfort. I breathed out shakily before continuing. "I think I'm falling... I'm falling for you. I... I think I've already fallen. I've never felt this way before and- and I... I think... I think I love you too, Gerard Way."

And before he could say anything, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips against his. Oh, his lips are soft and sweet.

He instantly reciprocated and wrapped his arms around my waist. He pulled me closer and it was... Fucking amazing. It was like magic, fireworks... It was nothing I'd ever experienced before. It was beautiful.

We both slowly pulled away about the same time. We both blushed. "Are you ready for bed?" He asked me, to which I nodded. He nodded as well. He laid on his bed, and whispered, "If I lay here... If I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

"I would." And I laid beside him. We held each other close as we fell asleep.

-


	9. Nobody said loving him was going to be easy; I love you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, that's an asotm reference

I awoke to a sound asleep Gerard. The only thing was, we were still in the fucking cemetery. Fuck, we must've fallen asleep. Which means, we didn't fucking kiss. God, why do I keep dreaming about us kissing?

...because I think I like him. More than a friend.

No, I don't. I don't like anyone more than a friend. I can't. I can't love him like that. Hell, I can't love him at all. I can't keep dreaming of us kissing. I can't ever let him kiss me. I can't kiss him. I can't. I just can't.

I gently shook Gerard awake. His eyes snapped open. "Huh, W- where-? Oh," Gerard muttered, looking around frantically. He looked straight at me. "Oh... Okay." He said.

-

We talked a little before heading back to Ray's. Well, I guess I could call it home, but I've never really done that, so, yeah.

Gerard walked over to me once the room was vacant. "Frank, can I talk to you?" He asked me quietly. I nodded and he took my hand and lead me back to our room. He closed the door and sat down beside me.

"What's up, Gee?" I asked him, studying the worried and nervous expression on his face. Gerard gulped and looked me in the eyes. Oh god, I think I know what he's about to do.

"I- I... I think I love you," Gerard whispered, taking my hand in his. I just sat there, completely frozen. Wake up, Frank. You're dreaming again. You seem to always be dreaming. "Frank?" Gerard whispered softly.

"Huh?" I asked, blinking as I snapped out of my thoughts.

"I said I... I think I love you," he stated, looking into my eyes and then I knew he was telling the truth. "Y- you don't have to say anything, but I... I do. I think I love you, Frank. And... And I just..." He leaned in to kiss me and I turned my head. "I'm sorry," Gerard whispered.

I shook my head. "I'm sorry," I corrected, sighing out as I spoke. Gerard shook his head and stood up. He walked over towards the door. "Wait, you don't have to go..."

He nodded. "Just going to give you some privacy," Gerard said, walking out the door. I walked over to listen to Gerard's conversation with Ray.

"Well, what did he say?" I heard Ray ask, and then I heard Gerard sighing.

"He said hardly anything," Gerard stated, a bit of devastation in his voice. "This is really hard to deal with because I love him a whole lot."

"Nobody said loving him was going to be easy," Ray replied, sighing. I imagined Gerard nodding. "Just... I don't know."  
(If you get this, what Ray said, I ♥ u I stg and I will dedicate this chapter to you just comment and let me know what it's from and I'll let you know if you're right)

-

Later that night, I was in the room as Gerard was changing clothes to get ready for bed. I couldn't help but watch the whole time. I couldn't help but to start thinking.

He sat next to me and smiled lightly. He should be going out with Ray and stuff, but no. He said he would stay with me. He would keep me company.

While he was changing, I noticed his scars.

It's strange; all we have in common. And his company was just the thing I needed tonight.

Somehow, I feel I should apologize for earlier. 'Cause I'm just a little shaken by what's going on inside. I don't know if I'm capable of love.

He stood up to get his cigarettes. I'm supposed to get up and go with Mikey and Pete. They wanted me to go and I hadn't decided yet. I was supposed to be getting ready, but here I was watching Gerard instead.

It's so hard; keeping my composure and pretend I don't see how his body curves beneath his clothes. And his laugh, is pure and unaffected. It frightens me to know so well the place I shouldn't go. I shouldn't see him like this. I shouldn't 'love' him because he's my friend. But he loves me... He said he loved me. And I think I love him, but I'm not supposed to love anyone. At least, I don't think.

My 'parents' told me that love was a waste of time and that I shouldn't allow myself to love anyone. And I believed it. I told myself that love never existed because I didn't want to love. I couldn't. I can't. And I'm starting to...

I should go, before my will gets any weaker and my eyes begin to linger longer than they should.

I should go, before I lose my sense of reason and this hour holds more meaning than it ever could.

"I should go," I muttered as Gerard sat beside me. I stood up and looked down at him. "Pete and Mikey and Ray and stuff are waiting." Truth is, I didn't want to go with them. I don't mean to leave Gerard with a trivial excuse. But I don't know what else to do.

"You don't have to go," Gerard whispered, grabbing my hand. I nodded in acknowledgement. "Are you just trying to get away from me? Is it because of what I said earlier? Because I... I'm sorry... If that's why you're trying to leave..."

I shook my head quickly. "No, it's because of me..." I told him, sitting down quickly. He tilted his head, confused. I suppose I might as well tell him. "I- I'm afraid of... Of falling in love with you... Because I was told that... That love was a waste of time and I shouldn't allow myself to love anyone. I told myself that love didn't exist and it wasn't real anyway. I didn't know what else to make of what they said about it. I was younger when they told me that. A lot younger. And I was more naïve. I believed them... And it just stuck with me, I guess. I've thought it wasn't real all my life because I was told what I was told and I guess I jumped to conclusions and pretended it didn't exist. But it made sense to me because no one's ever loved me and I've never loved anyone until I met you and-" I stopped mid-sentence. I believe I had an epiphany.

I love Gerard. I just said it out loud that I loved him and it all makes sense now. Screw what they told me growing up. Love is real and I found it with Gerard. I love him. It isn't a waste of time. I've never felt this way towards another human being or anything and it must be love. Gerard's my exception. The only exception.

And maybe my soulmate.

"I love you," I stated, speaking softly as I looked into those gorgeous eyes. Gerard's lips parted in slight surprise. "I love you," I said again, smiling a little this time and nodding. Gerard smiled a little as well. "I- I love you!" I exclaimed excitedly. I grabbed his face and pressed my lips to his. He reciprocated almost immediately.

I began to kiss all over his face. "I love you, I love you, I love you!" I exclaimed in between kisses. Gerard giggled as he fell backwards onto the bed. I straddled him and continued kissing all over his face. I then landed my lips on his and kept them pressed together.

"Frankie," Gerard mumbled into the kiss. I hummed in response. "I love you too." I smiled into the kiss and pulled away. I pulled him into sitting position slightly and wrapped my arms around him. I laid my head in the crook of his neck.

"Gerard, I think you're my soulmate," I whispered to him, pulling my face away from his neck. "When we're not together, sometimes I feel like part of me is missing." Gerard nodded.

"I feel the same."

"Then we must be soulmates."

"You know, they say soulmates never die."

"You know, I love you, Gerard."

"I love you, too, Frank."

I pressed our lips together again. His hands slid down my back and then back up. I pulled away slightly. "You want to do something...?" I asked him, whispering slightly and purring while looking into his eyes.

"Like what?" He inquired, raising an eyebrow at me. I giggled, then bit my lip seductively.

"Hmm, I don't know..." I played innocent, when it was rather obvious what I wanted. Gerard chuckled and shook his head.

"Tell me," he said, giggling. I bit my lip again and kissed him.

"I want to show you how much I love you," I told him as we pulled apart. I honestly was terrified, but I was slowly getting over my fears. I was facing them. And doing this was helping, too, because otherwise, I wouldn't have the guts. And telling him I loved him helped a lot. "What do you say?" I asked.

Gerard looked into my eyes. "Make love to me," he breathed, eyes never leaving mine as the words left those pretty pink lips. I searched those gorgeous eyes of his for any signs of doubt, which I doubted would exist anyway; Gerard had done this before.

I, however, had not.

"I've never done this before," I declared, but he already knew. He nodded.

"I'll help you, okay? I'll help guide you."

"Okay."

And with that, I got up so Gerard could move. He sat in the middle of the bed. I climbed in front of him.

"I love you," I said softly.

"I love you, too."

-


	10. Sex

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning.

I started off with pressing a gentle kiss to Gerard's lips. It was short and sweet.

I smiled at him. He smiled back.

I kissed him again. He kissed back harder.

I climbed into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. He held onto my waist.

I slipped my tongue out and licked his bottom lip. He parted his lips to let my tongue in.

I slipped my tongue into his mouth. I liked the way it felt.

We kissed like that for a bit. I pulled away and kissed Gerard's neck.

He moaned. He tilted his head back for me.

I worked on the mark some more; biting, sucking, licking and kissing it. He seemed to like it.

I quickly slid off his shirt. I threw it onto the floor somewhere.

I pushed him down onto the bed. I straddled him.

I kissed down his chest and stomach. I heard him gasp.

"Frankie..." He breathed. I looked up at him from where I was.

He looked nervous and shy. Meanwhile, that's how I was on the inside.

I grabbed ahold of his belt. "C- can I?" I asked nervously.

He nodded. I undid his belt and button.

I heard him breathe out shakily as I undid his zipper. I slid his pants down his thighs just a little.

I sat up and took off my shirt. I tossed it with Gerard's.

Gerard bit his lip as he looked at me. "Oh my god, you're so beautiful..." He whispered.

I blushed as I leaned down to kiss his stomach again. He gasped.

I kissed his hipbones where his boxers sat. I sat up slightly and grabbed the waistband.

I looked at him for approval. He nodded slowly, biting his lip coyly.

I slid his boxers down his thighs to where his jeans were. I took a deep breath.

Gerard blushed as I looked over at his face. I then looked down and in between his slightly parted legs.

Before I knew it, I was leaning down. I took Gerard into my mouth.

He moaned and thrust upwards into my mouth once. I held his hips down.

"Mm..." He moaned as I sucked hard. I continued this for a bit.

"I- I'm close..." He almost cried out. I pulled off immediately.

"I want to have sex with you," I told him as I stood up. I undid my belt.

Gerard bit his lip as he watched me. He slid his pants and boxers off the rest of the way, stood up and grabbed my hands.

He finished undoing my belt and then the button on my jeans. He then undid the zipper for me.

He slid my pants down a bit and let them fall to my ankles. I bit my lip and blushed.

I looked over his naked body. He looked so beautiful.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered aloud. He blushed and looked down.

He grabbed the waistband of my boxers, biting his lip. My breath hitched.

He slowly started to slide my boxers down. I pressed myself against him and kissed him.

"Please... Please touch me," I breathed against his lips. He nodded.

He slipped his hand between us and palmed me through my boxers. I moaned.

No one had ever touched me like that before. Gerard was the first.

"Mm..." I moaned again as Gerard pressed his palm into me more and started to rub me. I pushed myself against him more as well.

Me, being the virgin I am, was already close. Dammit.

"I'm close..." I told him, and he immediately let go. He grabbed the waistband of my boxers and slid them down.

I stepped out of my clothes. I kicked them aside.

I pressed my body against his again. I kissed him.

He backed up until he could lay down on the bed. He did so, pulling me on top of him, and never breaking the kiss.

"Gerard..." I mumbled against his lips. He grabbed a fistful of my hair and tugged on it.

I let out a moan; it felt really good. He did it again.

"I'm ready," Gerard whispered against my lips. I nodded slightly and pulled away.

"Grab some lube at the least," he told me, vaguely gesturing to a drawer in the nightstand. I nodded and pulled some out.

"Use a generous amount, please," he said, moving up on the bed and lying down with his head on the pillow. I opened the lube.

I watched Gerard bend his knees and spread his legs. "I want you to top me," he explained, blushing a bit.

I nodded and climbed in between his legs. "Oh, stretch me with your fingers," he instructed.

I squirted some lube onto my fingers. "Do I stick my fingers in you?" I asked nervously, blushing from embarrassment.

Gerard nodded. I am such a fucking virgin.

Exhaling, I pressed my fingers to Gerard's entrance. I pushed one finger inside.

"Ah..." Gerard said softly. I bit my lip and watched him just breathe for a moment.

I pushed another finger inside of him. "Mm..." He moaned quietly, grabbing tightly on the bedsheets.

I began to pull my fingers out and thrust them back in. "Oh!" Gerard gasped, closing his eyes.

I began scissoring my fingers for a bit as well. "I'm ready," Gerard uttered after a few moments.

I nodded. This is it.

I poured some more lube into my hand and rubbed it on myself. I lined myself up with Gerard's entrance.

"You're awfully quiet," Gerard commented, looking at me. I blushed and looked up at his face.

"I'm just nervous," I breathed out, biting my lip. "I'm also feeling a bit shy."

"Don't be nervous, Frankie," Gerard whispered, smiling just a little. I smiled back.

"Okay," I said softly, exhaling. I began to slowly push into Gerard's entrance.

"Ahh," Gerard groaned, his grip on the sheets tightening. I kept pushing in, moaning as I did so.

"Oh my god," I moaned, finally all the way inside of Gerard. "I'm all the way in, Gee."

He nodded, panting a bit. "You can move whenever," he told me after a moment, breathing softly now.

I nodded and leaned down to kiss him. He kissed me back harder.

I barely began to slowly pull out of him a bit. I took a deep breath as I thrust back in.

"Oh, fuck..." Gerard moaned softly, throwing his head back. I pulled out a little again.

I let out a moan as I thrust back in a little harder than before. Gerard moaned as well.

Oh god, this felt so good. So fucking good.

"Oh..." I moaned as I pulled out and thrust back in again, but this time, Gerard thrust his hips up in time with me. He moaned.

I began to pick up the pace a bit, pulling out more and thrusting in harder and deeper as well. I repeated this for a while.

I thrust in deeper than before. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, oh god, right fucking there, baby, mm..." Gerard moaned loudly.

I nodded and began to pull out and thrust in again in the same spot, which made Gerard let out a series of loud moans. Oh god.

"Fuck, Frankie, I..." Gerard gasped, gripping even tighter on the sheets. I felt a sensation building up in my stomach.

I moaned as I repeated my actions, making Gerard come close to screaming. "I'm getting close..." I stated.

"Oh god, me too, baby," Gerard moaned, letting out little, breathy gasps. "Oh fuck, Frank, fuck me harder."

I obliged, thrusting as hard as I could inside of him. "Ah!" He moaned loudly, wrapping his legs around my waist.

"I'm gonna..." I said, just as I saw Gerard coming all over us. Wow, what a sight that was.

"Frank," he uttered, closing his eyes. All I could do was watch him in awe as I felt myself get extremely close.

My arms gave out and I collapsed on top of him as I came inside of him. "Oh, Gerard, I..." I moaned.

Once our orgasms were over, I pulled out of Gerard. "That was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced," I stated, mind blown.

Gerard giggled. "Fuck yeah, it was for me, too," he agreed, smiling.

I bit my lip as I rolled off of him and laid beside him. I sat up a bit and kissed him.

"I love you," I told him as we broke apart. He smiled widely.

"I love you, too," he stated, cuddling up next to me after pulling the blankets over us. "So much," he added.

"I want to have sex with you again," I whispered shyly. Gerard giggled.

"Well, I hope so," he said, biting his lip. "Don't worry, I want to have sex with you, too."

I smiled. Soon, I found myself drifting off to sleep.

_


	11. Everything will be alright

When I opened my eyes, I didn't see Gerard anywhere. I sat up and looked around for my clothes.

I got up and dressed and ran out of my room. I then saw the most horrible thing.

There was a fucking police officer in the living room, talking to Gerard and Ray. 

What the hell?

"Um..." I began, causing the police officer to turn around and look at me with wide eyes. He said the last thing I'd ever want to hear.

"Hey, you're that missing boy!"

God fucking damn it.

The police officer grabbed my arm swiftly, turning to Gerard and Ray, who'd just stood up. "I could arrest you guys for kidnapping," he said sternly, making me panic more.

FUCK what did I do?!

"You're coming with me," the officer told me, trying to drag me out of the house.

"Gerard!!" I cried, trying to break free, but it was no use. Gerard came out and briefly touched my fingertips, before I was yanked away and shoved into the car.

As the police officer got in, I opened the door.

"Gerard!" I said, truly scared of what may happen. Gerard rushed to me and kissed me hard.

"Frank, I will find you, okay?" Gerard told me, wiping away my tears as the officer got out to get Gerard away. "I'll find you. I won't let them hurt you anymore, okay? Everything will be alright. I love you-"

The police officer grabbed him and pushed him away, before quickly getting in and driving us off.

I looked back at Gerard, who held his head in defeat. I watched as he broke down and sobbed into his hands.

I began sobbing myself, turning away from Gerard, only so the officer could take me back to hell.

-


	12. The world shall be ours.

/Two weeks later./

I fell back into the same old routine. Getting beaten, going to school, getting bullied, going home, getting beaten, crying, cutting, more crying, hating my life even more, missing Gerard, more crying, then sleeping. Every now and again I'd eat, though, as well as shower.

I wanted to die again.

My cuts kept getting deeper with every time I'd done it.

So this is how my life is going to be until I can leave? Until I can get the fuck away from this whole mess of a life?

I really missed Gerard. I didn't know what I was gonna do without him.

I guess go back to my old life? Where Matty and Charlie are my only friends, and Matty is dating George and Charlie is still single, and Adam is that dick that thinks it's cool to hurt people, and where Mikey and Pete aren't here anymore?

And most of all, where Gerard isn't here anymore?

As I walked to school, I realized something. I sprinted off in the direction of Charlie's house. I knew he was staying home today.

I banged on the door and Charlie opened it, looking tired.

"Charlie, let me borrow your phone," I said quickly. I knew Gerard's number by heart.

Charlie moved aside for me and I ran in, grabbing his phone and dialing Gerard's number as fast as I could.

He picked up on the fourth ring.

"H- hello...?"

He sounded weak, and he sounded broken. 

"Gerard, baby, it's me... it's Frankie..." I whispered, already on the verge of tears.

"Oh my god, Frankie, are you okay...?"

"It's okay, baby. It's gonna be okay. I mean this, I'm okay... trust me."

"Baby, once you're old enough I'm gonna come and find you and I'm gonna take you away from it all. I'm gonna give you the life you deserve, because you're a good fucking person and I fucking love you with all my heart. You're not gonna suffer and you're not gonna be alone. I'm gonna find you, if it takes all night."

"But, Gee, it's going to be a long while before I'm old enough to leave... I... and I can't... I don't think I'll be able to talk to you. What if you... forget me?"

"I won't forget you. I'll forget the world that I knew, but I swear, I won't forget you. Oh, Frank, I... Oh darling, I wish you were here."

"I wish I was there, too," I sighed, sniffling. Meanwhile, Charlie already went back to bed.

"Fuck, baby, we'll be together soon enough. Fuck, I- I'll come and get you if you want. We'll just drive, because I would drive onto the end with you. I'm trying to let you know just how much you mean to me. You mean so much that I'd drive forever. We could live forever if you've got the time." Gerard chuckled. "So... are we ending things here for now, or am I coming to get you. Are we over, or am I yours? And the world... can it be ours?"

I grinned. "You are mine, my darling... And the world... Yes, the world shall be ours..."

-


	13. Epilogue: Journey of Soulmates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://youtu.be/jAaiROMCjHo

Gerard and I spent the rest of our lives together. We drove all across the world. We called our trip the 'Journey of Soulmates'.

We got married when I turned twenty two. It was just us and our little group of friends in Ray Toro's backyard. That was the best day of my life.

When I was twenty five, Gerard and I adopted a little orphan girl. She was five. Her name is Bandit and she is the sweetest.

Mikey and Pete married some years later. Patrick was Pete's best man and still lives with them to this day.

Ray Toro found a girlfriend. Her name is Christa and they are madly in love.

I heard that Matty married George and Charlie found somebody.

Now Gerard and I live in a little house with Bandit in Newark, and Ray Toro still lives in his house with Bob Bryar occasionally crashing on his couch.

Pete Wentz and Mikey Wentz live right down the road from us with Patrick.

And we're happy. We're all happier than we could ever imagine.

And I have Gerard, my soulmate, to thank for that one.

-


End file.
